When shit hit the fan

Jan 2016
I am in a crisis. I have begun to doubt myself, my calibre, everything I thought I was good at.
Well, so the start of the year was near perfect. And now the universe is trying to balance it out by shitting on me. I hate the recruiting process. I am not getting anywhere with it. I am going to say it outright - the ONLY thing on my mind, the ONLY thing bothering me, the ONLY thing that will bring me peace and happiness right now, is getting a job. And I don't know how to go about it. I have absolutely no fucking idea what to do. I don't even know what I want! I have no further interviews lined up, and everyday I feel like I am wasting my life and time here. I left the comfort of my family, my surrounding, my rather decent paying job to come here. And what do I have now? Nothing. I look at the people around me, and they seem to know so much more than I do . I lack in so many things that I have stopped keeping count. I don't want to spend the rest of my six months here looking for a job, or waiting. It is getting too much for me to handle.

I need to get my shit together!

I am sure I am made for better things. I know I have it in me, it is just lost somewhere. I've come this far, not to back down now have I? :) Good things will happen to me, I am positive. I was able to do it before, and I can do it now. Who is stopping me from being the Batwoman that I am meant to be?

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